Got to go through it to the Joy on the other side....

Clara has a book that we have read so much that she pretty much ‘read’s it to herself. It’s one of those you just read over and over without thinking about it too much but for some reason the verse that is repeated on every page jumped out at me.

Oh No – A River (or a forest or a muddy field or a postpartum depression or a hard season of life or something else that you may be facing)

We can’t go over it

We can’t go under it

We HAVE to go through it.

Sometimes we put off grief or anger or frustration and we bury it – but eventually we have to go THROUGH it. So we can put it off or we can just plow through it.

Now don’t get me wrong – this IS NOT a pull yourself up by your boot straps type post (because if one more person tells me to bootstrap it, move on or make better progress -I might lose it) –it is a face the emotion you feel post. I recently told someone because of this I feel this way. Before they could argue- I said you can’t tell me how I can feel – you may not agree with me but it is how I feel.

I think over the last year I just keep thinking – after a few more weeks on this medicine, some more counseling sessions, more time this depression and anxiety will magically lift. But I have just been sitting on the side of the muddy field thinking it will dry up. It time to plow through it. It’s time to dig through the emotions, do the hard work of figuring out who I want to be when I come out on the other side.

Some of those things are easy –I want to be a Godly woman who is a good wife, good mother and great friend. I want to find the JOY that God wants for me that Paul wrote about 16 times in 4 chapters of Philippians. I want to excel in my work putting out quality product and being valued for my opinion. I want to also make time for things I enjoy reading, crafts and needlework. But some are harder – what does that Godly woman look like, how do I get there from here? How do I spend my time more wisely?

That is where I have to put in the work – I can’t go over it, I can’t go under it and I can’t sit and wait for it to magically change. I have to go THROUGH it.

Fortunately, I have God on my side. He put you on this earth in this place at this time. He knew me in my mother’s womb and knew all that I would face. All I have to do is ask Him for strength, for the mud boots and see the joy in even in the smelly parts….. I might have to ask every day, I might have to ask every hour, there will be times my boots get stuck but there will be times my feet will be light because He has pulled me out of the mire.

So today – I am moving toward HOPE, JOY, LAUGHTER – I am not going over it, I am not going under it;

I have to go STRAIGHT THROUGH IT.

Hope some of you will help and be there on the other side to help me pull off the hip waiters covered in muck. And hopefully we find some fun along the way.