Old Shall Pass Away

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here. 2 Corinthians 5:17

I was fortunate to be a part of the Mayor’s Prayer Breakfast Steering Committee this year and not only had the privilege to hear Germaine Copeland speak but to visit with her afterwards. As many of you know, I feel like I am at a low point in my life with depression, anxiety, sickness and lots of little distractions that keep getting in the way. In talking to her afterwards, someone else asked how she got started writing. She said she was depressed house wife with 4 little kids and was talking to God. The phrase she used was the old will be put away and the new will come.

That phrase hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been lamenting the old, the easy way it was before kids, the nights we had projects and events until all hours instead of the tired, depressed, anxious mama that goes to bed at 9 pm (and is grateful when she can do that). The times I worked 60 plus hours a week and was ahead of deadlines and the queen of my high heels. I have been comparing two very different people. Yes those were both me but different forms of me.

Someone very dear to my heart, several years ago after Clara was born – EVEN you can’t be YOU anymore. Kids change things as they should. They change how we look at the world and the priorities we focus on. I changed jobs because I wanted to be with my daughter instead of at the office or schmoozing at an after-hours event. But after two years I don’t know that I have changed my mindset.

Don’t get me wrong, having Sam Henry has thrown me for a loop and for all his wonderful smiles and sweet snuggles, I am still struggling. But I think that one comment helped me focus on putting away the old Nancy Lee and bringing out the new. I think that is part of what God is trying to show me in this struggle. I am struggling to compete –not just with the mama down the block but with the corporate version of me. I need to shed her skin and be new in Christ.

Never before have I spent time as much time in prayer with Him, reading His word, and no I haven’t gotten the answers or the magic relief that I seek –but I have gotten glimpses of His will for my life. I don’t want to give up on parts of me and sometimes they sneak out and I can see a glimpse of who I want to be but I also want to explore the new me. The one that seeks the opinion and will of God instead of the opinion of comparison.

So I am asking for patience, patience as the new me emerges, patience as I mourn the old me, patience as I cry tears I kept myself from shedding for the last 38 years (I have shed plenty the last 2). I am not sure if 40 is the new 20 but it will be a new experience and one I will take with God leading the way.